Life’s Lesson #22

Promises are over rated. It takes a person with real big matured balls to be honorable.
If there’s anything life has taught me in my 30th year on this planet, is that “if you haven’t worked for it, paid for it or inherited it; don’t be a fool as to boast of it or get too comfortable with it”, no matter who assures that it’s yours or how many times they assure you, because it could at anytime be rudely snapped out of your grasp and yanked right off from under you by the very person who had misled you to the false sense of security and belonging. The pain of that sudden realization can wrench at your heart like acid and corrode the very core of every value you ever believed in.

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The “Island Effect” Moving to a new Country

Atleast 90 percent of people who move to a new country suffer from what I call the “Island effect”. Now anybodyelse who has never had to leave their homeland will ask, what is “the Island effect?” The Island effect is the constant state of feeling of not belonging and alone even when among people. From the moment we step onto the foreign soil, are we not only stripped of our past, but also the very ingredients that make us who we are, and are forced, though subtly as it may seem to take on a “new us” and mostly with the “new us” goes out the window our emotions, opinions and basically our entire identity that once made us, we simply cease to exist.

As anyone will agree, existing is the very essence of life, and sooner or later we are slapped with the realization that neither our opinions or emotions count anymore and thus the abject need for recognition sets in. We begin to crave attention and the need to be noticed becomes overwhelmingly dominant. We begin the hunt for our own – friends, jobs, support groups and what not, but just as rudely, we are quickly enrolled into the “not possible” class where we are given a set of lessons in “fear factors and the do’s and don’ts” of our new life/home. We are told that the culture here is different, you cannot do this or that here, you cannot go there or there, there are more sociopaths and serial killers out there, people here don’t like strangers smiling at them or talking to them, don’t trust anyone, don’t look at people… etc. By the time you make your way out of your home, everyone you meet is a serial killer suspect and you are so afraid to even say “hello” or smile at that old toothless friendly individual who actually still genuinely believes in humanity and value friendliness without motives being suspected or questioned. At the end of the day, you feel overwhelmingly lonely and alone even in the multitude of people all around you. Whaam! The beautiful island effect.

My first Danish Workplace Julefrokost “Christmas Lunch”

1S2_den-store-julefrokost

Did I just say first up there? Yeah! I did, but let me add “very” to it because a typical Danish Christmas lunch simply known by the Danes and Danes wannabes as “Julefrokost” is a lunch gathering like no other seen or heard of outside the borders of Denmark probably. It is after this gathering that divorces happens; why? Because 1. The Danes only seems to get horny after a few shots of drinks, on any other normal day, they probably don’t even realise that they have any functional sex organ, and 2. Promiscuity, sex orgies and lewdness during these events are massively encouraged so I have been told, regardless of age and they are never shy to pre-inform you about it. You find them on all the three menus. Starters, main course and dessert, especially the dessert menu… and someone still wonders why divorce rate is so high around here and relationships so casual?

To any non Dane, a Christmas lunch especially where almost 95% of the attendants are married, normally consists of food, wines, respect, humorous banter and probably tea/coffee, but to the Danes, in between the wines, banters and beers, there is the Schnapps, consumed in a competitive manner like to say, let’s see who can take the world cup for how many number of shots in any given sitting. Of course, any Tom, Dick and Harry could easily advise you that mixing drinks is never a good idea unless it’s a juice cocktail, but assuming that the Danes are not very well educated in the social drink etiquette, anything that comes out of a bottle ought to be poured down the oesophagus regardless of taste, color or size……..we can conclude otherwise. Its after these seemingly harmless shots taken out of teeny-weeny glasses that as they say it here “at gøre snegl” literally transalated as “to get wet/horny happens. In my transalation, I’d say “the padlocks to the floodgates of every sex organ come loose.

Non-Feature-Homemade-Aquavit-Schnapps-Denmarkphoto40

Hey, hang on a second, I was trying to make a point here, I mean about my very first Danish Christmas Lunch, how did I get derailed talking about drinks and sex? Ah! but of course, yeah, one can’t talk Christmas Lunch and Danes in one sentence without mentioning the drinks and sex.

My point being, it was a Christmas lunch like no other before and I will not be getting divorced this year afterall. I know you are itching with curiosity why I won’t be getting divorced afterall, well, if I told you my every little secret then where would the fun be?….. You just dye slowly from your dirty curious minds till next year,  as for me, I am going to make sure that my next typical Danish Christmas lunch finds me among the likes of Keenu Reeves and Tom Hanks.

Till next time, Merry Christmas everyone!!!!

H.E Yoweri M7 & H.E Bobi Wine, Who is the real President of Uganda???

I swear I had sworn never again to encourage my fingers to type anything political. Yet here I am again, but I swear that this will be my last.

As it is, or if you know about Uganda or have been following up on the latest political madness that has demented the very people whose duty oath is to “Protect and Serve” and “Uphold security of the citizens and NEVER EVER participate in political party sides”, you will understand my frustration and dilemma that has tempted my fingers to eventually scream out my mental emotions on the ongoings.

So the battle, as I heard, stemmed from a very low level political party by-elections that saw the other President accusing the other President of attacking his convoy motorcade. Oh, I mean, the real other President making the accusations. Wait a minute, but who is really the “Other Real President?” H.E Bobi Wine, the musician turned politician or H.E Yoweri M7, the dictator turned dictator? Now that is the question that is puzzling the many likes like me, and if you would be on the fence on which I perch, you too would also be just as puzzled.

While that is the real point here, the other real point here is the grueling undemocratic manner in which the ruling party is harassing the citizens and abusing their human rights. That is if they had rights in the first place, taking into account that every Ugandan’s human rights is centrally stored and rationed out according to status and or family lineage.

This here is the other real president,………….

mk

……. and this here is also the other real presidentbobi

Whichever way you slice it, I am almost sure that we are doomed either way unless a “Salvation Miracle” should happen to the Country like the Big Bang

My prayer;

Oh Uganda 🇺🇬, **sigh**, may God look favorably on you and send back His son to save you. That is  if he is not arrested, stripped of his Godly rights, thrown in jail and tortured before he can perform the Salvation thingy-mijigi……. Aaamen!!!

 

 

Of Thai Expectations and Chinese Massage Italian Style

Joke:
Q. Where do women with great thighs come from?
A. Thailand

With just a few days to vacation, I couldn’t wait any longer for that moment when eventually we loaded the car and set off into the sunset somewhere in Bibione.

I had heard so much about the great Bibione beaches and the dirt cheap Thai massages that the car wasn’t going fast enough – in fact, Italy had always been one of the “must visit before I leave Earth” kind of place and determined to wallow in the mighty waters although I can’t swim, and please don’t make me tell you why I can’t swim because that is a very long story but from the sheer fantasy of optical nutrition, not just any nutrients, but dark haired, tall drop dead gorgeous Marcos, Pablos, and all those sexy Italian names I was yet to hear that make up the men.

First two days I was still nursing the 24 hours drive from Denmark to Bibione, but the third day saw me waltzing through a Thai massage spa and as had always been my desire, what better therapy in a Thai spa than a Thai massage? I guess now I know why that clever old somebody once said “Never judge food by the smell or report of it” . 7 minutes less than the indicated time, I walked out of the spa and said the mariage vow immediately “till death, do I never go Thai M again”

Disappointments. Disappointments. Disappointments!!!

So then, on one of those disappointing beach visits, I mean, I had already been scouring the beaches for close to a week and still not one handsome dark haired man on the entire beach, you can’t even begin to imagine the heartbreak my cherry sized heart went through. Anyway as I was saying, on one of those visit, I met a Chinese guy-girl, Ling Ling, that was her name. Why guy-girl? Because she looked like a cross breed between a teenage boy and an underdeveloped woman in her late forties. Don’t sneer, I have always been a good judge of body parts…Oops! I meant shapes, body shapes. Any way, Ling-Ling could give amazing massage and although English is not a common ingredient in Bibione as I found out, broken German and ItaGerGlish is not uncommon either. Ling-Ling knew just a little bit of ItaGerGlish for us to have her come over at the residence to give us a massage.

Turned out, Chinese massage in Italy is way better and cheaper than Thai massage Italy.

Long story short, I am still nursing my broken heart from media scam of displaying to me, as as a young girl growing up all the handsome, dark haired tall, eye candy god knows what else Italian guys who apparently don’t exist anywhere else but in the media (Magazines, Tvs and Ads)

I am never going back to Italy, I am moving on onto Spain and France

Why God has left the Churches a long time ago

Give me back that old times. That long ago times where demons were cast out and people were healed in Churches. That time when the Holy Spirit moved among His congregated people baptizing them with fire and new tongues. That time when people would prophesy during services. I remember in the middle of our worships, the Holy Spirit would descend into the room and half the Church would break out in tongues. He would sweep across the room and knock everybody down and believe me, no person would still be standing. Sometimes even the Pastors didn’t survive the magnitude of that Presence.

That time when being in the presence of the Lord was not timed. Where “Time out” was called after 30 minutes

What happened to that Church? Did God pull out of the miracles business? Did the Holy Spirit stop working? Can we assume that all demons were cast out back then and forced out of Earth for eternity and now we live in a demons-free world?

In the modern Church today when someone is presumed/percieved to be possessed by demons, he or she is quickly rushed out of the Church to a room and left with the Ushers to …… ah well, we can’t say with certainty that we know what the Ushers do with or to these people. Reason for taking them out, is so they DON’T DISRUPT the proceedings

Healing:  “The disciples healed the sick by laying of of their hands on the sick”. I recall when Pastors used to lay their hands on the sick in the congregation and they were healed. When going to Church was so exciting because you couldn’t wait to relish that awesome presence all over again. (not to show off the upgrade in your social status). What happened to that Church?

Along the way between MODERNITY and GREED, we have missed the point and are still continuing to miss the point with our Church Programs these days.

Most Churches these days try to force and coax the Holy Spirit to move according to their program and within their timings. Preaching the word of God alone does not release His presence, anointing or miracles. Its all in PRAISE and WORSHIP; It is when we begin to praise and worship that the Lord actually moves. Because praises are our testimonies of His Persona and worship is our acknowledgement of His Supremacy.

Two (2) hours of Church be like, okay chap chap! 25 minutes for praise and worship, 30 minutes for updating us of events and activities going on in the Church; Fair enough but… (That is what Twitter and Facebook are for) and for irrelevant issues like trying to convince me to dig deeper into my pockets… (and I don’t even wear clothes with pockets to church) … because the Lord loves a cheerful giver (duh! I came to Church in an overcrowded bus after feasting on water and air for breakfast)  45 minutes for preaching the word and the other minutes are for shuffling in or out of the Church. We dedicate more time to preaching His word than seeking His face. Sad 😭 isn’t it?  I know somebody will say; that’s what Cells are for (seeking His face). Dude, we all know that Cells have turned into a Tinder or Christian Dating platform

Concrete proof that anointing and miracles are released only when we praise and worship

Paul and Silas: when they started to worship and praise the Lord while in prison, the prison’s doors were thrown open and chains were all broken.

Wall of Jericho: All God instructed the children of Israel to do was to marched around the wall of Jericho seven times praising; yep you read right *PRAISING* and what happened after the seven times? The walls came down. Now I don’t know how long in kilometers that wall was but I doubt it was only a 30 minute march.

So goes on and on the testimonies of how God moves majorly in our praise and worship, NOT in our PREACHING the WORD. The word only benefits to the purpose of renewing our faith, building us up firmer and winning new souls

So please, give me back that olden times when Churches existed for God and not as business hubs or means to “get rich quick”. And this my brethren is why God has left the Church – or atleast most of them.

Women! The root cause of every problem in the world.

1st Disobedience

Let’s look at what happened in the Garden of Eden

Had it not been for Eve, Adam would have never ever on his own thought of the idea of eating the stupid fruit, whatever the fruit was, hence disobeying God’s command of “ DO NOT” eat of that tree and condemning the entire human race. It shows how calm and contend men are with their lives if not for WOMEN

1st Lie

“ We were afraid when we heard you coming, so we hid because we are naked” What an excuse of a lie! They hid not because they were naked, rather because they knew they had disobeyed and would be reprimanded. And I bet you all, it must have been Eve’s idea to hide; Man’s first instinct might have been to face God square and reason with Him gentlemanly. Woman’s first instinct? Make up a story, dress it up in a nice makeup, drizzle a bit of “I was simply a victim” and present it on a well polished silver platter

Eve again! Thus the first lie ever was told

The Blame Game?

Not taking responsibility for one’s action “ It was the Serpent who told me to eat it” Again, Woman’s first instinct, play the victim. So now the innocent Serpent gets blamed and punished for a sin he did not commit, all on account of a Woman. ***Sigh***

Think about it. Going down the history of mankind, almost every greed, power fight, need for revenge etc, a woman was always somehow behind them all. 99% of all the chaos in the world begins and ends with a WOMAN

Like the saying goes “ Behind every successful man is a woman” It can therefore be re-said “Behind every man’s thirst for power & greed is a woman”

Show offs

Let’s look at Trump, I am almost sure he is less more interested in the White house than he is in proving to Melania that he can and has got the power.

Just for laughs

I am not saying that you should agree with me, but we never know. This is simply a one man’s opinion from a wacky point of view

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